Fear and Illness

In the previous post, I made the following remarks in response to the question: “Have you ever become mysteriously ill just before you had to do something you were afraid to do?”

Illness is actually a common symptom of fear, particularly among those who tend to really get themselves worked up over things. The mind definitely seems to have an affect on the body. But how does such a reaction come to be? Is there anything we can do to combat such a thing, should we suffer from it? It seems to me that this symptom could result from 1) the habit of avoiding fears, or 2) an extreme state of fear. If in the past, for instance, a given person has done, literally whatever they can do to get out of doing what they are afraid to do (or if they are terrified to do something), then, if no other option is available to help them avoid/alleviate their fear, their body could resort to illness. Now, this isn't to say that a person just “decides” to “get sick” when they realize there is no other alternative to avoiding their fear, though that is definitely a possibility. Rather, a person could unconsciously develop the symptoms of an illness in order to avoid a given fear. So what can we do about it?

To continue, consider the following.

When a person has developed the habit of facing their fears (acting in spite of their fear), the problem of becoming ill as a last resort can never arise (assuming their fear is not extreme). Such a person does not seek to avoid their fear at all. Rather, they seek to act, even though they may be afraid. On the other hand, the act of becoming ill in response to a fear is itself a mechanism of avoidance. It is a way of temporarily “getting out of it.” But, as mentioned above, if a person does not allow their fears to master them, if they act, despite being afraid, the problem of illness cannot arise. It's only when a person is looking for a way out that illness becomes an option. It seems then, that the symptom of becoming ill in response to fear, can only develop if we have first developed the habit of avoiding fears. But if we find we have developed such a habit, what can we do to change it?

Habits, as discussed in The Catalyst of Confidence, develop from repetitious actions. If we repeatedly seek to avoid our fears, we will develop the habit of doing so. Conversely, if we repeatedly act, despite being afraid, we will likewise develop such a habit. It should then be clear that a person, should they become ill in response to certain fears, must begin developing the habit of facing their fears. The best way to do this would be to start overcoming small fears and slowly work up to the larger ones. It may also prove helpful to review Lesson V: Action and Habit, and Lesson VI: Fear and Action.

Lastly, as mentioned above, illness could also result from an extreme state of fear. However, there seems to be little reason to consider such a thing. It seems to me that an extreme state of fear can result in one of two ways: Either 1) a person has avoided a relatively harmless fear to such an extent that they have “built it up” to be an extreme fear in their mind, or 2) a person is confronted by something that actually warrants an extreme state of fear (such as being hunted by a psychopath). The former is a result of developing the habit of avoiding fears (which was addressed above), while the latter is something that we really have no practical way of overcoming (unless, of course, we are regularly hunted by psychopaths and are thus able to become accustomed to such situations).

Understanding Your Tendencies: Lesson VI

At the end of each lesson in The Catalyst of Confidence there is a short section entitled “understanding your tendencies.” These sections are composed of a series of questions designed to help the reader understand and apply some of the information that was conveyed during the lesson. What follows is my commentary on these questions from Lesson VI: Fear and Action.

1. When was the last time you did something that was outside of your comfort zone?

Chances are you have done something, at some point in your life, that you were afraid to do. What was it? When was the last time you did this? What did it feel like?

2. Have you ever forced yourself to do something you were afraid to do?

What was it that you were afraid to do? Why did you do it, despite your fear? What was the result of doing the very thing you were afraid to do? Did you benefit from it? If so, how?

3. Have you ever become mysteriously ill just before you had to do something you were afraid to do?

This question deserves a post of its own, which will be forthcoming. For now, I will offer the following remarks. Illness is actually a common symptom of fear, particularly among those who tend to really get themselves worked up over things. The mind definitely seems to have an affect on the body. But how does such a reaction come to be? Is there anything we can do to combat such a thing, should we suffer from it? It seems to me that this symptom could result from 1) the habit of avoiding fears, or 2) an extreme state of fear. If in the past, for instance, a given person has done, literally whatever they can do to get out of doing what they are afraid to do (or if they are terrified to do something), then, if no other option is available to help them avoid/alleviate their fear, their body could resort to illness. Now, this isn't to say that a person just “decides” to “get sick” when they realize there is no other alternative to avoiding their fear, though that is definitely a possibility. Rather, a person could unconsciously develop the symptoms of an illness in order to avoid a given fear. So what can we do about it? I will discuss this in the near future.

4. When was the last time you allowed a fear to stop you from doing something?

Have you ever allowed a fear of something to stop you from doing it? What were you afraid of? What was the result of not doing the thing you were afraid to do? Did you benefit from it?

5. Have you ever experienced “analysis paralysis” as a result of fear?

As we saw in #3, people can come up with some creative ways to avoid their fears. Another such example is the over-analyzing or over-preparing for something in order to postpone the doing of it (normally because of a fear). Unfortunately, such things tend to postpone the doing of something indefinitely. A new salesperson, for instance, will likely be afraid to begin making sales calls, especially if they have never done such a thing before. As a result, rather than actually going out and beginning to make sales calls, they may instead opt to practice their “script” or “sales presentation.” Such behavior will, of course, be rationalized: “once I am more prepared, I will be ready to begin making sales calls.” But when it comes to finally begin, fear once again overcomes them, and they flee to the safety of their temporary-comfort-inducing-action-postponing behaviors. How can a person break such a cycle? They can act. Once they begin doing the thing they are afraid to do, the fear will begin to disappear. If they continue, over time, their comfort zone will expand and the fear will disappear entirely.

Haircuts and Change

“You look like a hippie,” my wife said.

Now, my wife, who no doubt sees herself as a kind of guardian angel when it comes to my personal appearance, was simply trying to let her poor husband (me) know that he needed to get a haircut. But before anyone starts to think that I may have actually looked like a hippie, allow me to mention that my hair might have been two inches long on top. Still, this week I somehow managed to find myself paying a visit to my local barber.

Now, my barber, who has been a barber for about 30 years and who I happen to be on good terms with, is in the process of moving his business. This week he informed me that as of May 1^st, he will be barbering from a new location, about five miles from his current shop, and will be reducing his workload to part-time. Naturally I was curious about whether or not openings were available in his clientele. “Of course,” he said. He then proceeded to explain a bit about how the barber business works.

He told me that when a barber moves his business, even if he moves it “next door,” he immediately loses about a third of his clientele. He can expect to retain a third as loyal customers. And this leaves him with a remaining third to account for. He told me that the last third of clients is made up of people who are curious about “what is going to happen.” “Gawkers,” as he put it. They might show up at his new location for a haircut or a shave, but only to “check up” on the proprietor, probing around to see if he's going to “make it.” After they have satisfied themselves, they either stay on as customers, or mysteriously disappear. When the “gawking-process” is over, about half of them remain. All in all, if and when a barber moves his business, he can safely expect to lose about half of his clients.

But why? Isn't this little scenario somewhat odd? After all, it's the same barber. It's the same equipment. It's the same service. Yes, the location is different, but unless the barber has moved an unreasonable driving distance, why is it almost guaranteed that he will lose half of his client base? One word: change. People don't like change. Change is something that we tend to fear. Some of us manage it without much difficultly. While others are terrified of it and will do almost anything to avoid it. The prospect of change requires us to face a fear of the unknown. It requires that we step out of our comfort zone, which is an action we human beings are not especially fond of.

But this outlook, though widespread, is deeply irrational. Go ask someone whether or not their life is perfect. If they are honest, and unless they happen to be insane, they will surely reply that it is not. Most everyone will admit there are areas in their life that they would like to improve. But improvement itself presupposes change. Change is a necessary component of progress. Without change, we cannot improve ourselves or our circumstances. Yet, most of us are terrified of it. Is it possible that our fear of change is working against us? Is it possible that such fears are preventing us from bettering ourselves or our circumstances?

Fortunately for my wife, I will continue as a client after my barber moves.

Companion reading: Lesson VI: Fear and Action.

Expanding Your Comfort Zone

The concept of the “comfort zone” is discussed in Lesson VI: Fear and Action. In the Lexicon it is defined as “an area of personality characterized by a lack of anxiety, tension or fear which has been created by one's habits. By definition, fears and anxieties lie beyond one's comfort zone.” So to begin with, our comfort zone describes a “zone of behavior” that we are “comfortable” in. This has essentially developed as a result of our habits, that is, our repetitious actions. And to the extent that we venture beyond the boundaries of our comfort zone, we are confronted with greater and greater fears and anxieties.

The concept of a comfort zone may easily be formed into an abstraction. Consider the image below (figure 1). The circle could be said to represent a given person's comfort zone at this very moment. Whatever activities are “comfortable” to the person, exist within the circle. Whereas anything deemed “uncomfortable,” such as fears, for example, exist outside the circle.

Let us suppose that this person is suddenly confronted with the prospect of doing something they fear. Perhaps their responsibilities at work are about to expand and as a result they will be interacting with senior decision makers on a regular basis. This is something they have never done before, let alone routinely. It is not hard to understand that such a change would—even if only initially—stir up various fears and anxieties. Naturally this fear exists beyond the boundary of their comfort zone, as represented by the red dot in the image below (figure 2).

Let us further suppose that this person does not allow their fear to control them. In other words they have determined to act in spite of their fear. In doing so, that is, through the process of consistently doing that which they are afraid to do, they slowly begin to expand the boundary of their comfort zone (as illustrated in figure 3).

If this person continues to act in spite of their fear, consistently over time, they will slowly notice that their fear (of interacting with senior decision makers at their job) will begin to subside. Hence, the activities existing as part of their expanded responsibilities, the prospect of which was initially frightening, have formed into a habit, and as a result have expanded their comfort zone. (As seen in figure 4, this person's expanded comfort zone is represented by the large black circle, whereas their comfort zone as it previously existed is represented by the smaller faded circle.)

It is through such abstractions that we are able to illustrate how a person can grow through confronting their fears. However, it should be emphasized that consistent inactivity can potentially cause one's comfort zone to shrink or atrophy. Thus enabling previously conquered fears and anxieties to resurface and possibly exist once again.

The Result of Fear

Fear often reveals itself as indecision, doubt and procrastination, ultimately resulting in inaction. Without action, the most vital element of success, nothing can be accomplished and the wheels of human ingenuity stop turning.

The Critical Finger

I was recently reminded of a past student of mine who would regularly object to various things I taught. The grounds of his objections were as follows: Everything you teach is very simple and easy to understand and doesn't contradict the general experiences of a person. In fact you normally cite life experiences that most people can relate to as evidence of that which you teach. But because of this, the things you teach are basically things that people already know. Therefore, because the things you teach are already known to a person, they cannot possibly be valuable to them.

This reasoning is actually quite hilarious, because it seems to imply that the only person who could potentially learn anything from what I write is the person who is isn't intelligent enough to have learned these things on their own. Thus, if you have learned anything at all from this blog, my student would no doubt label you as one example of such a person.

Still, I believe the student's argument to be naïve at best. My appeal to a person's “general life experience” is, in many ways, a concrete method of relating to them. It definitely helps the reader/student to better grasp whatever it is that I'm talking about. But it does not follow that, because I have appealed to the life experience of a person, and then proceeded to make a connection or observation on the basis of that experience, that the person will have already made that same connection or observation prior to my relating it to them.

As an example, consider the concept of fear. Nearly everyone can perform some action which they were once (but no longer) afraid to do. To borrow from the previous post, during “driver's ed” many people are afraid to drive a car on the road amongst other automobiles, especially if they have no experience driving things. Yet after years of having their drivers license and operating a vehicle, they display no fear whatsoever when driving. Such is an example that many people relate to. But many have not made the connection that in order to overcome a fear, they must do that which they are afraid to do, and when they do that, they expand their comfort zone, and their fear begins to subside. Such an observation is, for many people, a kind of revelation or epiphany which enables them to better face and overcome fears throughout their life, and if that is in fact the case, surely they wouldn't accuse me of “teaching them something they already knew.”

On the other hand, perhaps the said student—albeit at the midpoint of his teenage years—had already figured out everything worth knowing.

HELP—SOMEONE—HELP!

Since their inception, roller coasters have been considered by many to be the mainstay of the modern amusement park. In terms of height, speed and sheer thrill-power, few rides (if any) can compare to the contemporary roller coaster. Indeed, if you have ridden one, you need not be convinced.

I was first introduced to the world of roller coasters when I was seven or eight years old. My dad, hoping I would share his love and admiration for the amusement ride, took me to Sandusky, Ohio, home of the Cedar Point amusement park. As the self proclaimed “roller coaster capital of the world,” Cedar Point boasts some of the tallest and fastest coasters on earth. Needless to say, I was thrilled beyond myself.

My first roller coaster ride was on Cedar Point's classic Blue Streak, which also happened to be my dad's first ride when he was a kid. Built in 1964, the nostalgic looking Blue Streak is a wooden coaster which stands a massive 78 feet, has a maximum speed of 40 mph, and sports a ride time of 1 min., 45 sec. It's obviously nothing to brag about, but I couldn't wait. I remember jumping into the car, fastening my seat belt and impatiently waiting to get to it. My life was about to change.

I can perfectly recall the trains “pulling out of the station.” There was a short stretch of track which we freely passed through until making a left turn at the base of the first hill, which we had to climb. I was ready, the trains had only been moving for 10 sec. and I already loved it. The climbing chains connected with the first train and slowly began pulling us up the massive 78 foot hill. But for some reason I wasn't nearly as excited as I had been. The chains were loud, much louder than I expected, and the incline we were ascending was much steeper than I thought. I remember looking down and noticing how high we were getting. Suddenly it dawned on me, we were going to the top, and then down the other side. To put it mildly—I lost it. I began screaming like a banshee, “stop!” “stop!” “dad I don't want to do this anymore!” “get me off this thing!” “HELP—SOMEONE—HELP!” There was nothing anyone could do, we were strapped in, we were going up, and we were going down. I continued my “freak out” session throughout the remainder of the climb. At the top of the hill there is a little “blue house” that the trains pass through before the descent. I vividly remember passing through that blue house with everything moving in slow motion. As we crested the hill—to my abject horror—the path down was revealed to me. Our car seemed to hang there forever as we began the free fall, and with everything moving in slow motion, I was given plenty of time to dwell on my young and untimely death. Filled with terror, I was about to get my first practical lesson in physics.

“OHHHH NOOOOOO!” could be heard as we gained speed in the decline, which was promptly followed up by a serenade of consistent prepubescent sheiks and screams which continued throughout the next approximate 1 min., 45 sec. I have no idea how many people behind me were hit squarely in the face by my tears, but I would guess quite a few.

To my shock, I remember getting off the Blue Streak thinking “that actually wasn't that bad,” and oddly enough, I continued riding roller coasters that day, with only a few more tearful breakdowns occurring. It seemed the more I rode them, the more I liked them, and the more comfortable I became. Today I'm one of those “nuts” who fancies the very front seat of a roller coaster as “the only way to ride.”

Many people have had similar first experiences with roller coasters. What is unique about the “roller coaster” experience is that it describes the path nearly all people take in overcoming their fears. As explained in Lesson VI: Fear and Action, action conquers fear. In other words, if we do the very thing we are afraid to do, eventually, our fear of doing it will disappear altogether. In my case of being afraid while riding a roller coaster, I was scared to death, but because I was literally “strapped in” I had no choice but to confront my fear, and though I may have screamed and cried at first, I found that my fear wasn't as bad as I thought. This is often the case. We may literally freak ourselves out over doing something, but through the process of doing it (acting despite our fear) we find that our fear mysteriously disperses. It may take more than one “ride” to dispel our fear, but so long as we persist in acting, despite our fear, it will eventually disappear.