Understanding Your Tendencies: Lesson VI

At the end of each lesson in The Catalyst of Confidence there is a short section entitled “understanding your tendencies.” These sections are composed of a series of questions designed to help the reader understand and apply some of the information that was conveyed during the lesson. What follows is my commentary on these questions from Lesson VI: Fear and Action.

1. When was the last time you did something that was outside of your comfort zone?

Chances are you have done something, at some point in your life, that you were afraid to do. What was it? When was the last time you did this? What did it feel like?

2. Have you ever forced yourself to do something you were afraid to do?

What was it that you were afraid to do? Why did you do it, despite your fear? What was the result of doing the very thing you were afraid to do? Did you benefit from it? If so, how?

3. Have you ever become mysteriously ill just before you had to do something you were afraid to do?

This question deserves a post of its own, which will be forthcoming. For now, I will offer the following remarks. Illness is actually a common symptom of fear, particularly among those who tend to really get themselves worked up over things. The mind definitely seems to have an affect on the body. But how does such a reaction come to be? Is there anything we can do to combat such a thing, should we suffer from it? It seems to me that this symptom could result from 1) the habit of avoiding fears, or 2) an extreme state of fear. If in the past, for instance, a given person has done, literally whatever they can do to get out of doing what they are afraid to do (or if they are terrified to do something), then, if no other option is available to help them avoid/alleviate their fear, their body could resort to illness. Now, this isn't to say that a person just “decides” to “get sick” when they realize there is no other alternative to avoiding their fear, though that is definitely a possibility. Rather, a person could unconsciously develop the symptoms of an illness in order to avoid a given fear. So what can we do about it? I will discuss this in the near future.

4. When was the last time you allowed a fear to stop you from doing something?

Have you ever allowed a fear of something to stop you from doing it? What were you afraid of? What was the result of not doing the thing you were afraid to do? Did you benefit from it?

5. Have you ever experienced “analysis paralysis” as a result of fear?

As we saw in #3, people can come up with some creative ways to avoid their fears. Another such example is the over-analyzing or over-preparing for something in order to postpone the doing of it (normally because of a fear). Unfortunately, such things tend to postpone the doing of something indefinitely. A new salesperson, for instance, will likely be afraid to begin making sales calls, especially if they have never done such a thing before. As a result, rather than actually going out and beginning to make sales calls, they may instead opt to practice their “script” or “sales presentation.” Such behavior will, of course, be rationalized: “once I am more prepared, I will be ready to begin making sales calls.” But when it comes to finally begin, fear once again overcomes them, and they flee to the safety of their temporary-comfort-inducing-action-postponing behaviors. How can a person break such a cycle? They can act. Once they begin doing the thing they are afraid to do, the fear will begin to disappear. If they continue, over time, their comfort zone will expand and the fear will disappear entirely.