The Four Personalities: Melancholy

This is the third post in a series, the topic of which is The Four Personalities. If you have not read the first and second posts, I encourage you to do so before continuing. Again, while I am perhaps putting a unique spin on how I present The Four Personalities, I can claim none of the substance of these posts to be my own creation: The best and most accessible book I can recommend on the subject is Personality Plus by Florence Littauer.

The Four Personalities: Sanguine

This is the second post in a series, the topic of which is The Four Personalities. If you have not read the previous post, I encourage you to do so before continuing. As a brief disclaimer: While I am perhaps putting a unique spin on how I present The Four Personalities, I can claim none of the substance of these posts to be my own creation. Again, the best and most accessible book I can recommend on the subject is Personality Plus by Florence Littauer. With that, let us finally begin:

Imagine—while retaining your human senses and intellect—that you are a fly on the wall, living within a suburban home in which a party is about to be held. You observe the hosts scampering about, preparing for their friends to arrive. As the guests begin to appear, you notice how different they are, not necessarily in terms of demographic, but in personality.

The first personality you notice is inevitably the Sanguine. Even if you don't see her at first, you undoubtedly hear her. As you turn to see who is making such a racket you will probably find a group of people huddled around, listening to and watching, one person—the Sanguine. In such a situation the Sanguine finds herself perfectly at home. She loves being around people, and she loves being the center of attention. Undoubtedly extroverted and optimistic, she has an appealing personality, and her vivaciousness, charm, and love of life draw people to her. She has a unique energy and enthusiasm, and makes friends easily. In many ways she is like a child, innocent and sincere at heart, even if she doesn't appear to be. She likes to laugh, have fun, live in the moment, and be spontaneous, and can't understand anyone who may be bored or depressed. She doesn't take herself seriously, and can even make fun of herself and the silly things she has done without embarrassment. She doesn't hold grudges, and thrives on compliments.

At first you may think you've discovered one of the most interesting and perfect people alive. But as you keep watching you notice that while the Sanguine seemed great on the surface, there is indeed more to the story. It doesn't take long to notice that she just plain talks too much, or at least doesn't seem to let anyone else talk. She has a tendency to talk without thinking, is constantly interrupting people, and seems to verbalize whatever may happen to be running through her obviously fast-paced conscious mind. Such unthinking behavior seems to offend certain people, even though the Sanguine has no real intention of being offensive. Another thing that seems glaringly obvious is that she seems utterly obsessed with herself. At any moment whatsoever she is somehow able to bring the conversation back around to focus on her, or on something she did, or on something she has done, or on something that has happened to her, or even on some object she wants to show off. Again, you notice offense being taken by other guests. Before long one of the hosts arrives on the scene to ask her about the dish she was supposed to bring, only to be told “oops, I forgot!” Not a big deal to the Sanguine, of course, as she laughs it off, “oh well!” Though heaven forbid someone ever-so-mildly reprimand the Sanguine, because it's very likely that she will end up crying, or throwing a tantrum. Emotion, you notice, plays a key role in the Sanguine psyche. But fear not, she'll bounce back in mere moments, and be back in the throws of laughter in no time. You've barely spent half an hour with her and you realize that she's an emotional roller-coaster. Experiencing bouts of laughter and exhilaration and joy followed by lapses of sadness and despair, and she hasn't even eaten dinner! (A similar feat was no doubt accomplished before lunch as well!)

So there you've got it. A brief yet revealing glimpse into the world of the Sanguine. Lively, charming, and entertaining, with good intentions, but also emotional, fickle, disorganized and sometimes unthinking.

If I had to pick an instrumental-style song to represent the Sanguine, I would go with something like this:

Up next: Melancholy(!)

Some Thoughts on Communication

Communication between people is accomplished through the medium of language. We communicate with words. But communication is only possible because words have meanings attached to them. When I say something is “hot” or “cold,” you are quickly able to grasp the basic proposition of what it is that I mean when I use such words. Yet not all words are so easily discernible, so clean cut, so black and white. Indeed, many times people will use a word to mean one thing, when, in their mind, they really mean something entirely different. And thus arises an explanation (no doubt among many) of why real communication can be so challenging.

You can have a conversation, a discussion, even an argument with someone, yet if you don't understand exactly what it is that they mean when they say what they say, you aren't really communicating with them. You're simply talking past one another, and though it may appear that communication is occurring, in reality it isn't. For this reason (among others) I have noticed that it is of paramount importance to understand what people mean when they use the words they do. I often find myself asking others “what exactly do you mean when you say 'x'?” or “when you say 'y,' do you mean this or that?” and so on. Recently I heard someone say that they were “being logical.” But when I inquired as to what they meant by the word “logical,” I found that they were actually thinking that they had a good reason to do whatever it was they were going to do. By “logical,” they seemed to think that they had thought the matter through and were not being rash. Had I not asked, however, I would never have guessed that that was what they meant.

The bottom line is this: don't assume that you know what the other person means when they write or say something. You may have very well read or heard a given word, and they may have very well used that word, but make sure that you are both on the same page when it comes to its meaning. Seek first to understand.