Understanding Your Tendencies: Lesson IV

At the end of each lesson in The Catalyst of Confidence there is a short section entitled “understanding your tendencies.” These sections are composed of a series of questions designed to help the reader understand and apply some of the information that was conveyed during the lesson. What follows is my commentary on these questions from Lesson IV: Thought and Concentration.

1. Who are you today compared to the person you would like to be tomorrow?

If “who we are” today has developed as a result of the dominating thoughts we have previously held in our minds, then it follows that the person we will become will also result from the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds. Thus, if you desire to change, if you desire to be a better person in the future—in whatever respect—you must change the information you associate with and concentrate upon. At least to the extent you wish to change or better yourself. If you continue associating with and concentrating upon the same information, don't be surprised when you don't change.

2. What do you concentrate on?

If those around you were granted the ability to “look into” your thoughts in the middle any given day, what would they be most likely to find? What things do you think about on a regular basis? What are your dominating thoughts? And perhaps more importantly, are they positive or negative? What consequences might these thoughts have on your actions and behavior?

3. What are you thankful for?

If your answer to this question doesn't start to flow automatically, you should stop immediately and make a list of things for which you are thankful. Why? Because regularly identifying the things you are thankful for gives you an enormous amount of perspective. When you don't stop and consider the things which you are blessed with, it's very easy to get bogged down and discouraged over the little things in life. Depressed-like thoughts result in depressed-like behavior.

4. Who do you see yourself as?

Your opinion of yourself is very important. Perceptions of self lead to reality. What type of person do you see yourself as? Are you an honest person, can people trust you? Are you kind and considerate? Do you see yourself as not being very smart? Are you a slow learner? Are you bad with people? Personal evaluations of self, whatever their nature, have a tendency to become reality. See yourself as the person you would like to be.

5. Do the people you associate with help you become a better person?

Let me clarify that the phrase “the people you associate with” refers to those you voluntarily associate with. We can tell an awful lot about a given person by getting acquainted with their close friends. How do your close friends and associations influence you? Do they contribute to or undermine your growth and flourishing as a human being?

6. Do the people you associate with help you accomplish your dreams?

To begin with, I am not saying that the only people you should associate with are those who directly help you accomplish your goals and dreams. It's not necessary to inform your great grandmother that you'll never see her again because she can't help you accomplish your dreams. Your great grandmother probably isn't going to help you climb Mt. Everest, but she might encourage you. That said, when an individual aspires to accomplish a given thing, oftentimes their friends or family will not support them, and may actually discourage and mock them. Obviously it isn't necessary that everyone support your endeavors, but it is often necessary to have someone close by that supports you.

7. What type of music do you listen to?

See below.

8. What type of TV shows do you watch?

See below.

9. What type of books do you read?

See below.

• Do these associations help you improve, or accomplish your dreams?

Everyone consumes information. The three previous questions simply refer to different methods of such consumption. But all information has an influence: it contributes to one's dominating thoughts which in turn affect one's actions and behavior. Does the information you associate with on a regular basis (music, TV, books, etc.) help you grow and improve personally? Does it help you accomplish your dreams? Many people spend a great deal of time watching TV or reading books that do absolutely nothing for them, save provide some temporary escape from reality. But the majority of the information you associate with should positively affect your life. If it doesn't, it should be changed.

10. What do you think when someone insults you?

Your initial response to an insult can be a great benefit or a great hazard. An insult is obviously negative by nature, but what matters is not the insult itself. What matters is how you perceive it. No one has the ability to force you to think a certain way about yourself. Other people can make “suggestions,” as it were. (An insult would be a negative suggestion.) But you nonetheless choose to accept or reject them. You have the ability to choose how you respond to an insult. Do you let it define who you are, or do you work to better yourself on the basis of it? It's all a matter of perception. As stated in the book, perception provides a person with the ability to change positives into negatives and negatives into positives.

Why Write Down Goals or Dreams?

People are often curious why a person should bother writing down their goals and/or dreams. While many people may at first believe it to be a pointless exercise, it nonetheless deserves some attention and consideration.

Perhaps the most basic reason a person would do well to scrupulously write out exactly what it is they desire to accomplish is so that they can solidify in their mind exactly what it is they want. Many times we have a general idea of something we want to accomplish, but it often isn't until we actually write it out and bother to explicitly define it, that we are able to get down to the “nitty gritty” details and fully grasp the object of our desire. In this sense, writing it out helps a person form a more coherent idea of what is it they want which in turn provides them with a “better picture” to pursue. The reason it is better to have a well defined goal as opposed to a vague and generalized one is because things which are vague and general are, for the most part, not nearly as motivating as something well defined and thought out. Is it more emotionally rousing to want to “go on vacation” or to explicitly define where it is you will go, who you will go with, what you will do and what it will mean to you?

Another reason it's a good idea for a person to write out a goal and/or dream is so they can focus on it or “keep it before them” as described in the previous post. A written statement describing a goal should be used to help “keep one's mind” focused on the very thing they want to accomplish. This is why it is suggested that a person read their written statement aloud. When a goal or dream becomes a dominating thought in the mind of an individual they begin to think in terms of accomplishing it and are thus able to begin developing concrete plans for its attainment. If we reflect on the five-step process described in Lesson III: Goals and Dreams we find that each step builds upon a foundation provided by the previous step. Thus, a person cannot focus on a goal if the goal has not been defined, nor can their goal become a dominating thought if they fail to focus on it, just as the ideas needed for planning cannot be developed without goal-oriented dominating thoughts, and so too action cannot follow without a plan of any kind. We find that the process of bringing an idea, goal or dream into reality presupposes a kind of chain which cannot function properly in the absence of even one link.

At this point an objection can be raised. Isn't it possible for a person to define and focus on their goal mentally and thus not need to resort to writing it down? Yes—such a thing is definitely possible—and there may be people who can succeed in doing so. But it should be strongly emphasized that if a person does attempt to do what has been described without writing anything down, they are much more likely to lose sight of their goal or forget they had it to begin with. The reason it is suggested to write out a goal or dream and focus on it is because it is simply a more reliable method which yields better results.

Another point of relevance which is not discussed in the book is the importance of attaching a time-frame to one's goal or dream. In other words, determining an expected length of time needed to accomplish a given objective. This can be used in conjunction with writing down or defining a goal and can offer some added benefits. To begin with, giving oneself a length of time to accomplish something adds some urgency to the goal itself. If a person says they want to do something “someday” they are essentially removing any urgency to accomplish it. They can always say that “someday” they will get around to working on it or whatever. In addition, when a person attaches a time-frame to a goal they also create a mechanism to measure their progress, which in turn contributes to the urgency of accomplishing the goal. If your time-frame is “someday” then you have no real time-oriented way to measure your progress in accomplishing your goal. But if your time-frame is (say) one year, your progress or lack thereof can be measured against the amount of time you have remaining to complete your goal.

The Mind As A Garden

In his book As A Man Thinketh, James Allen rightly observed: "A man's mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind. Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires, so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master gardener of his soul, the director of his life."

This astoundingly simple analogy is perhaps the best illustration of how our thoughts affect our lives. What is it that our thoughts "bring forth"? Actions. What is it that actions produce? Results. What affect do results have in our lives? They determine our life circumstances. Thus, it is because we are capable of "planting seeds" or directing our thoughts that we are able to affect the nature of our actions, which will in turn affect the results we produce, which will in turn affect the circumstances of our very lives, and in this sense, every living person is "the director of his life."

The Ends of Thought

This is the second post in an informal series, the topic of which is “thinking.” If you have not read the first post (it's fairly short) I encourage you to do so before continuing.

Acute readers will have noticed that the ending of Don't Burn Your Hands! clearly states that “we've barely scratched the surface—more to come!” This obviously implies that we were not done. But that was in August and here we are closing in on December. So, if you would, allow me to apologize for my failure to publish this post in a timely manner.

Having explored a broad generalization of the concept of thinking (causal relationships), let us now begin to break it apart and examine it more closely. One of the first things we should notice is that thinking at this level is inherently teleological, that is, it is directed toward some end or goal. It does not wander aimlessly, but rather, seeks something specific. What exactly does that mean? If we take an example from the first post, specifically the example of placing one's hand on the heated coil of a stove, we know that this action will result in our hand being burned. But examining the causal relationship between the act of placing our hand on the coil and the result of our hand being burned is not properly an end in itself. Rather, the end of such examination (thinking) is presumably “how do I avoid burning my hand in the future?” In this case, the end which our thinking is directed toward would be the avoidance of burning one's hand.

For the purpose of these posts, the ends which we direct our thoughts toward will be called goods. Thus, the examination of the causal relationship between the act of placing one's hand on a heated coil and the effect of it being burned, is directed toward the good of avoiding such effects in the future. Most people will agree that it is desirable to not burn one's hand on the coil of a stove. In other words, it is seen to be good to avoid such things. However, no one deliberately directs their thoughts toward an end which they believe to be destructive or bad. Ends are always seen as goods in the mind of an individual. This leads us to the contrast between real and apparent goods.

A real or genuine good, is an end which is actually good for a person. The end of avoiding burning one's hand, for example, would be considered a real or genuine good. An apparent good, on the other hand, is a good which, while a person may think or believe it to be genuinely beneficial for them, in reality is not. We can easily conceive of a person who desires to eat chocolate cake at every meal. Such an end would no doubt be seen as a good in the mind of the individual, but would nonetheless prove to be the opposite. This inevitably leads us to yet another distinction. That of the short-term and long-term effects or consequences of different ends.

The short-term effect of my avoiding burning my hand can be seen as a real good because I do in fact avoid burning my hand. The long-term effect would be the same. In this case there is no difference between the short-term and long-term effects when it comes to the end of “avoiding burning my hand.” Can the same be said of the person whose end is the consumption of chocolate cake at every meal? The short-term effect of eating chocolate cake at every meal is simply the gratification of the desire to eat chocolate cake at every meal. Again, in the mind of the individual, this end is seen as a good. Even so, the long-term effect would be quite different, the very least of which would be mild health problems. In this case, the long-term effect of the end of “eating chocolate cake at every meal” reveals itself to be, not a real or genuine good, but on the contrary, an apparent good.

On the basis of what has been said, we can make several conclusions about the essence of goods. First, real goods are ends which actually produce beneficial effects, with an added emphasis on the long-term. In many circumstances, the short-term or immediate effect of a real good, is not seen to be good or beneficial at all. When a person who desires to lose weight begins to eat healthy or work out, for instance, the short-term circumstances are generally undesirable. Prior to working out this person was overweight. Now that they have begun working out, they are still overweight, but now they are tired and sore as well! Thus, this person must tolerate a short-term pain or discomfort in order to attain their desired end in the long-term, which is a real good.

Next, we find that apparent goods are ends which are expected to produce beneficial effects and generally emphasize the short-term. Put differently, apparent goods have a tendency to focus on the immediate effect of an end or good. Procrastinating on a project may seem to be desirable in the short-term, but oftentimes such ends produce hazardous effects in the long-term. As discussed in Lesson VIII: Self-Deception and Learning, a characteristic of self-deception is seen in fulfilling immediate desires while simultaneously ignoring future consequences.

A person may opt to tolerate a given pain or discomfort in the short-term, in order to enjoy a real good in the long term. While another person may solely be focused on an apparent good in the short-term, at the expense of the long-term. Herein lies the difference between good and bad choices. In one instance, a person takes into account the short-term and the long-term effects, and evaluates them as goods. In another, only the short-term or immediate effects are considered and evaluated as goods.

I do realize that this is a lot of information, but it is a necessary foundation to understand the forthcoming posts on this topic.

Emotionalized Final Thoughts

This is the third (and hopefully final) post in a series, the topic of which is the concept of “emotionalized thoughts.” If you have not read the first and second posts, I encourage you to do so before continuing.

Having explored the affect emotionalized thoughts have on the creation of beliefs, as well as the accomplishment of goals, let us continue our exploration with a third example. In Lesson IV: Thought and Concentration, we find that thoughts which are either repeated or emotionalized have a “magnetic” affect on one's mind. The word “magnetic” is used to indicate that such thoughts appear to have a tendency to “attract” other thoughts which are of a similar or related nature to that of the original thought. A person who is worrying about the outcome of some past action, for instance, will find that if they continue “worrying” (repeating the said thought) or if their initial “worry” is accompanied by a strong feeling(s)—such as anxiety, nervousness, etc.—they will find it inevitable that other thoughts of a similar or related nature will begin appearing in their consciousness as well. Hence, an initial fear or worry that a given action (A) may produce an anticipated negative result (B), suddenly expands in their mind. They now are not merely worrying that A will result in B, but now that A may not only result in B, but potentially consequence C, D, and E, as well. In effect, the initial fear or worry has expanded through a kind of “snowball” effect in the said person's mind.

As previously stated, the affect of an “emotionalized thought” is simply that it appears to “speed up” the cognitive faculties inherent in one's mind. If thought X is accompanied by strong feelings (emotions), then additional thoughts of a similar or related nature to that of X are likely to begin appearing almost immediately. The substance of the original thought itself is irrelevant. If the thought is of a positive nature, with accompanying positive emotions/feelings, the “magnetism” of the thought will be positive as well. The word “magnetism” refers to the capacity of a given thought to attract other thoughts of a similar or related nature. Thus, positive will attract and perpetuate positive while negative will attract and perpetuate negative. If you throw strong emotions/feelings into the mix, the process occurs in less time.

Another phenomenon associated with emotionalized thoughts which may be worth noting is their apparent unreliability or fickleness. For example, let us return to the above mentioned person who is struggling with the fear or worry that action A may produce consequence B. Due to the strong feelings which accompanied their initial “worry” they now find themselves confronted with the prospect of, not only consequence B, but potential consequences C, D, E, etc. These additional potential consequences have, in effect, been produced as the result, not of careful thought or analysis, but rather of sheer emotion. Insofar as such potential consequences have been created by emotion, they are not necessarily reliable. In other words, after the said events transpire and all consequences—anticipated or otherwise—have occurred, it is likely that the majority of the said person's worries will have been unrealized and thus spent in vain.

How many of us have driven ourselves to the edge of madness through emotion, only to find such things to often be utterly baseless, unwarranted and devoid of all rationale? Our emotions absolutely have their benefits, but unless we are able to accurately discern when to employ them, we will likely deceive ourselves.

How God Fits In, Part 2

This is the second post in a series, the topic of which is “how God fits in” with the content of The Catalyst of Confidence. If you have not read the first post, or the introductory post, I encourage you to do so before continuing.

In this post I will clarify the following specifics, which correspond to their respective lessons:

1. Knowledge of the origin of a belief does not affirm or negate the validity of that belief. (Lesson I: Perception and Belief)
2. The concept of morality can be understood as a goal. (Lesson III: Goals and Dreams)
3. Contemplation of that which is good invariably results in that which is good. (Lesson IV: Thought and Concentration)

1. Knowledge of the origin of a belief does not affirm or negate the validity of that belief.

It's possible that the knowledge of how one has come to believe that which they believe can be alarming. Primarily because it can be perceived that such understanding discredits the validity of a given belief (because a person could have easily came to believe something different through the same process). For example, the reason I am a Christian is because I was raised as a Christian. i.e., I was brought up in an environment which encouraged Christianity. In other words, my belief in Christianity resulted from being exposed to specific information. This information, in turn, underwent the process of perception and repetition in my mind, eventually culminating in my belief in Christianity. However, knowing the origin of my belief neither affirms nor denies the validity of Christianity itself. If Christianity is true, it must be true independent of my belief in it. This is why the responsibility of every individual to carefully consider the reasons they believe that which they believe cannot be overstated. Ultimately, having a mature understanding of how one's beliefs are created enables a person to choose one belief instead of another. See also: Rocks Have Souls?

2. The concept of morality can be understood as a goal.

If a person accepts the existence of God, then they are almost certain to accept the existence of objective moral values as well. Morality itself can be understood as a standard which mankind ought emulate to the greatest extent possible. Knowledge of this standard can easily be understood as a goal, in the sense that it directs one's thoughts and actions toward a defined end (the standard itself). However, such a goal cannot be attained temporally, but rather must be pursued ceaselessly by mankind. Having knowledge of this standard coupled with it being a point of consistent concentration (or focus) enables a person to better discern the methods of how they can adhere to the standards of morality. In short, the methods of achieving a goal or dream may also be used to better maintain a moral life. See also: Lesson III: Goals and Dreams in The Catalyst of Confidence.

3. Contemplation of that which is good invariably results in that which is good.

In the Selected Quotes section of Lesson IV: Thought and Concentration we find the following quote from Philippians 4:8: “Fill your minds with those things that are good, and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable.” As explained in the lesson, the information one concentrates upon determines their dominating thoughts. Dominating thoughts, in turn, largely affect one's actions and behavior. Hence, the contemplation of good things (things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable) will invariably result in good actions, which are more likely to produce external results which are also good.

...And The Highest You Shall Be

As many would expect, The Catalyst of Confidence manuscript is, as with most first drafts, very much different from the finalized version. Recently, while reviewing an original copy of the manuscript, I found something which caught my eye. A poem—first published in 1906 by James Allen as part of a now out of print book known as “From Poverty to Power”—was intended to be part of Lesson IV: Thought and Concentration, but during the early phases of editing, was omitted. Though it was cut from the final draft, I believe many people would nonetheless enjoy it. Hence, I have included it here:

Would you scale the highest heaven,

Would you pierce the lowest hell,—

Live in dreams of constant beauty,

Or in basest thinkings dwell.

For your thoughts are heaven above you,

And your thoughts are hell below;

Bliss is not, except in thinking,

Torment naught but thought can know.

Worlds would vanish but for thinking;

Glory is not but in dreams;

And the Drama of the ages

From the Thought Eternal streams.

Dignity and shame and sorrow,

Pain and anguish, love and hate

Are the maskings of the mighty

Pulsing Thought that governs Fate.

As the colors of the rainbow

Makes the one uncolored beam,

So the universal changes

Make the One Eternal Dream.

And the Dream is all within you,

And the dreamer waiteth long

For the Morning to awake him

To the living thought and strong.

That shall make the ideal real,

Make to vanish dreams of hell

In the highest, holiest heaven

Where the pure and perfect dwell.

Evil is the thought that thinks it;

Good, the thought that makes it so;

Light and darkness, sin and pureness

Likewise out of thinking grow.

Dwell in thought upon the Grandest,

And the Grandest you shall see;

Fix your mind upon the Highest,

And the Highest you shall be.

Many will notice, however, that the last two lines of the final stanza (Fix your mind upon the highest, And the highest you shall be.) were included on the back cover of the paperback edition. These words provide us with the essential meaning of the poem, as well as—in my estimation—The Catalyst of Confidence itself.

Perhaps this is why I couldn't scrap the entire poem after all.

Student A and "I Fail at Life"

As a follow up to the previous post Joe, Basketball and Accurate Thought, I would like to make some additional comments.

Over the years I have had the opportunity to teach many teenagers, some of which, at times, have provided me with rather breathtaking examples of inaccurate thought. For instance, say Student A is talking with his or her friends during a break and (for some reason) explains that, while driving a car, it is legal to pass a “slow-poke” on the right-hand side and cross over into the shoulder of the road. Some other students (who perhaps have their drivers license?) quickly reply that, far from being legal, such a maneuver would be, in fact, illegal and quite dangerous. Consensus quickly rises in the room and many other students nod their heads to agree that so-and-so is right and passing on the right-hand side of the road is definitely illegal. Perhaps some even jest that “maybe it is legal—in England!” Laughter ensues and Student A grudgingly accepts that they were wrong.

Now, I would not consider this to be a good example of inaccurate thinking (though, strictly speaking, it would be inaccurate to think that one could legally pass a car on the right-hand side of the road) in and of itself. What often happens next, however, would be considered one of the best examples I can conjure. In situations such as these, where a so-called “Student A” is proven wrong (often by mere popular vote), many students will respond to their mistake by saying something like “oh well, I fail at life.” The first time I heard this I almost stabbed myself with one of my dry-erase markers, I was aghast.

“You what?—you fail at life?—because you thought it was legal to pass on the right-hand side of the road?”

In the loving and forgiving world of logic, there exists a term known as the non sequitur. Latin for “it does not follow,” a non sequitor describes a conclusion which does not follow from its premises. The response outlined above, “I fail at life,” is a non sequitur. In other words it is an entirely unjustified conclusion and yet, sadly, is one of the most common “teen-age” responses to challenges and mistakes. It is also one of the most profound and agonizing examples of inaccurate thought. Those saying such things may as well say something like “triangle x is isosceles, therefore I fail at life” or “the sky is blue, therefore I suck.”

When asked, students quickly point out that “I fail at life” is just a “harmless saying” and when they say it, they really don't mean that they literally “fail at life,” but rather, that they simply made a mistake. At first this may seem like a harmless conclusion, but imagine saying such a thing to yourself every time you made a mistake. Imagine developing the habit of communicating such a thing to yourself. It seems that eventually such a “harmless saying” would begin to take on a life of it's own in our minds, and would soon begin reminding us of our failings and shortcomings until such things dominate our thought life.

It is a known law of psychology that we come to believe that which we repeat to ourselves. Beliefs, as we have learned, determine our perception of reality, govern our actions and limit or unleash our potential. It appears that many teens have been communicating “I fail at life” to themselves for years in their internal dialogs. Imagine, if you can, adopting the belief that you-fail-at-life. How much faith would you have in yourself? How would you act?

Probably a lot like many of our so-called “teens.”

Joe, Basketball and Accurate Thought

Every living person has a voice in their mind. For example, if you just thought “I don't have a voice in my mind,” that is the voice I'm talking about. This “little voice in our head” is often referred to as our internal dialog, and essentially describes how we communicate with ourselves. It is through analyzing our internal dialog that we are able to garner great insight into our beliefs and—perhaps more importantly—our perceptions. This knowledge, in turn, helps us discern the accuracy of our thinking as it pertains to specific things.

Take Joe, for instance, who is currently in his mid 30's and has been an avid fan of basketball since childhood. Whether watching the pro's, college athletes or friends playing sandlot-style, he is fascinated by all aspects of the game. Joe, however, doesn't play, because, as he would say “I'm not any good at it.” When Joe was 10 he moved to a neighborhood that had a basketball court in a nearby park. Though he was new to the area, he finally got up the courage to go play with the other boys, who got together almost every day after school. It was his first time playing, and compared to the others, Joe was terrible. He had always wanted to play basketball, and though he now had the opportunity, he found that he wasn't any good. As a consequence, Joe resigned himself to the life of a spectator, and as he grew older, began following the sport on both collegiate and professional levels, but he never played basketball again.

Those who have read Lesson I: Perception and Belief can immediately draw some basic conclusions from the previous paragraph. First and foremost, the statement “I'm not any good at it” is a belief which Joe has adopted in regard to his personal competence in the game of basketball. We know this is a belief because it governs his actions and determines the fact (reality) that he doesn't play. This particular belief was created as a result of his initial perception that he wasn't any good, which probably originated itself as a statement by Joe in his internal dialog. But was this perception accurate? In other words, did it correspond to reality? It seems that it did because Joe actually was bad at basketball, especially considering it was his first time playing. However, upon closer inspection of his initial perception, and after taking into account a proper understanding of the concept of failure (as seen in Lesson VII: Failure and Adversity), we find that his initial perception was, on the contrary, inaccurate. That is, it did not correspond to reality.

How is this possible? Joe was, in fact—bad—wasn't he? Wouldn't perceiving himself to be good, despite his incompetence, be a form of self-deception? Yes. But the accurate thinker will note that the proper alternative to “I'm not good” is not merely “I am good,” but rather “I'm not good—right now.” The original statement posed by Joe in his internal dialog, “I'm not good” (which is the initial perception that led to the creation of this belief), is posed as a universal. That is to say, it is posed as a conclusive statement—something which cannot be changed—something which simply is. The proper alternative statement “I'm not good—right now,” accounts for his incompetence within a specific time and place, and as such, allows room for improvement. The plain truth is not that Joe is bad at basketball (in a definitive, all-inclusive sense), but rather, he is simply bad at this point in time, he is bad right now. While the initial perception (“I'm not good”) essentially dooms Joe to perpetual incompetence in the game of basketball—as it is an all-inclusive universal statement—the proper alternative statement (“I'm not good—right now”), frees Joe to acknowledge the reality that he is bad without removing his ability to improve over time. Had Joe perceived his inability to be a temporary affair (one which was contingent only upon his ability to improve), he would not have quit and would have most likely continued playing and developing his skills and love for the game. But as it is, Joe has unintentionally ostracized himself from a first person role in the game of basketball, and will, perhaps, never play again for the remainder of his life.

Examine the specifics of your internal dialog. You may be surprised what you find.