Understanding Your Tendencies: Lesson IV

At the end of each lesson in The Catalyst of Confidence there is a short section entitled “understanding your tendencies.” These sections are composed of a series of questions designed to help the reader understand and apply some of the information that was conveyed during the lesson. What follows is my commentary on these questions from Lesson IV: Thought and Concentration.

1. Who are you today compared to the person you would like to be tomorrow?

If “who we are” today has developed as a result of the dominating thoughts we have previously held in our minds, then it follows that the person we will become will also result from the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds. Thus, if you desire to change, if you desire to be a better person in the future—in whatever respect—you must change the information you associate with and concentrate upon. At least to the extent you wish to change or better yourself. If you continue associating with and concentrating upon the same information, don't be surprised when you don't change.

2. What do you concentrate on?

If those around you were granted the ability to “look into” your thoughts in the middle any given day, what would they be most likely to find? What things do you think about on a regular basis? What are your dominating thoughts? And perhaps more importantly, are they positive or negative? What consequences might these thoughts have on your actions and behavior?

3. What are you thankful for?

If your answer to this question doesn't start to flow automatically, you should stop immediately and make a list of things for which you are thankful. Why? Because regularly identifying the things you are thankful for gives you an enormous amount of perspective. When you don't stop and consider the things which you are blessed with, it's very easy to get bogged down and discouraged over the little things in life. Depressed-like thoughts result in depressed-like behavior.

4. Who do you see yourself as?

Your opinion of yourself is very important. Perceptions of self lead to reality. What type of person do you see yourself as? Are you an honest person, can people trust you? Are you kind and considerate? Do you see yourself as not being very smart? Are you a slow learner? Are you bad with people? Personal evaluations of self, whatever their nature, have a tendency to become reality. See yourself as the person you would like to be.

5. Do the people you associate with help you become a better person?

Let me clarify that the phrase “the people you associate with” refers to those you voluntarily associate with. We can tell an awful lot about a given person by getting acquainted with their close friends. How do your close friends and associations influence you? Do they contribute to or undermine your growth and flourishing as a human being?

6. Do the people you associate with help you accomplish your dreams?

To begin with, I am not saying that the only people you should associate with are those who directly help you accomplish your goals and dreams. It's not necessary to inform your great grandmother that you'll never see her again because she can't help you accomplish your dreams. Your great grandmother probably isn't going to help you climb Mt. Everest, but she might encourage you. That said, when an individual aspires to accomplish a given thing, oftentimes their friends or family will not support them, and may actually discourage and mock them. Obviously it isn't necessary that everyone support your endeavors, but it is often necessary to have someone close by that supports you.

7. What type of music do you listen to?

See below.

8. What type of TV shows do you watch?

See below.

9. What type of books do you read?

See below.

• Do these associations help you improve, or accomplish your dreams?

Everyone consumes information. The three previous questions simply refer to different methods of such consumption. But all information has an influence: it contributes to one's dominating thoughts which in turn affect one's actions and behavior. Does the information you associate with on a regular basis (music, TV, books, etc.) help you grow and improve personally? Does it help you accomplish your dreams? Many people spend a great deal of time watching TV or reading books that do absolutely nothing for them, save provide some temporary escape from reality. But the majority of the information you associate with should positively affect your life. If it doesn't, it should be changed.

10. What do you think when someone insults you?

Your initial response to an insult can be a great benefit or a great hazard. An insult is obviously negative by nature, but what matters is not the insult itself. What matters is how you perceive it. No one has the ability to force you to think a certain way about yourself. Other people can make “suggestions,” as it were. (An insult would be a negative suggestion.) But you nonetheless choose to accept or reject them. You have the ability to choose how you respond to an insult. Do you let it define who you are, or do you work to better yourself on the basis of it? It's all a matter of perception. As stated in the book, perception provides a person with the ability to change positives into negatives and negatives into positives.