The Deception of Positive Thinking, Part III

This is the third post in “The Deception of Positive Thinking” series. If you have not read the first or second post, I encourage you to do so before continuing. As we have seen, the deception of positive thinking describes the tendency of “positive thinkers” to focus on a positive aspect of a given situation while simultaneously ignoring their ability to correct the situation itself. While it is one thing to read a story or article, it is quite another to incorporate it directly into our lives. We must therefore begin exploring what can be done to conquer the deception of positive thinking, should we suffer from it.

The first thing we must do is increase our awareness of ourselves and our circumstances. The woman from our story is obviously not aware that she is perpetuating the very circumstance that is responsible for her unhappiness. Although her words conveyed unhappiness, she was not completely aware of what she said. Her first step then, insofar as positive thinking is concerned, is to work toward becoming aware of her reality. Here are a few suggestions that may be useful for those seeking to gain a greater level of self-awareness:

Listen To Yourself When You Talk

The words used and the way they are used can give enormous insight into the realities of ones life. Listen for words and tones that may indicate dissatisfaction or unhappiness. What do you hear yourself say out-loud or to other people? Examples include:

• “I hate my life.”
• “It's not worth it.”
• “My boss is a moron.”
• “That's impossible.”
• “What's the point?”

Pay Attention To Your Internal Dialog

Developing the habit of listening to our internal dialog is a vital step in becoming more self-aware. Internal dialog is simply what you say to yourself mentally. If your spoken words are similar to those listed above, chances are your internal dialog will be even less admirable. Most of us are much harder on ourselves mentally. What do you say when you talk to yourself? Examples include:

• “I'm so unhappy.”
• “I hate myself.”
• “I feel so useless.”
• “I'm fat.”
• “I'm unattractive.”

Listen To What Other People Say To You

When one is given advice about something, the natural response is to become defensive. The woman in our story was very defensive if anything was asked regarding her relationship. However, just because an observation comes from another person (instead of you) doesn't mean it's wrong. In fact, listening to the observations and opinions of others can grant huge insight into our lives. How many people have tried to talk to the woman in our story about her relationship? How would her life be different now if she had realized the truth of her situation years ago? Pay attention to what other people say to you (don't just blow it off), it may be worthy of consideration.

An increased awareness of oneself and one's circumstances is the first step toward conquering the deception of positive thinking. We will discuss additional steps in the near future.