Understanding Your Tendencies: Lesson V

At the end of each lesson in The Catalyst of Confidence there is a short section entitled “understanding your tendencies.” These sections are composed of a series of questions designed to help the reader understand and apply some of the information that was conveyed during the lesson. What follows is my commentary on these questions from Lesson V: Action and Habit.

1. Have you ever found it hard to change?

If you haven't, you should probably check your pulse. The difficultly of change is a result of habit. This doesn't mean that “change is difficult” because we have developed a “change is difficult-like” habit. It means that change is difficult because the very things we wish to change are almost always related to our habits.

2. Have you ever tried to stop doing something, but can't seem to stop?

Although changing a habit is a simple thing to do—it is not easy—and at times can be extremely difficult. One thing to keep in mind is that you should never try to just “stop” doing something. Rather, you should do something other-than whatever it is you want to stop doing. Instead of attempting to “will” a habit to disappear, it is always better to work to replace a habit with another habit. This issue is also addressed in a previous post.

3. Do you ever say you are going to do something, but don't seem to do it?

This is an issue of discipline, which I define as simply “doing what you commit to do.” This is discussed at length here.

4. Are there things other people do that really “tick you off”?

This question gives us a glimpse into the world of emotional intelligence, which will be discussed later. Suffice it to say that the reason we get “ticked off” in response to things that other people do is because we have developed the habit of doing so. Sure, we might disagree with something to the point that our blood boils, but most things are not worth getting so angry over.

5. Do things which once seemed hard now seem easy?

We normally struggle the first time we attempt to do something. But when we continue to perform the actions necessary to do it, over time, our struggle begins to disappear. If we continue further, over time the action itself becomes second nature—it becomes a habit. Realize that beneficial habits are almost always difficult to develop in the early stages. But once they are developed, you can benefit from them for the rest of your life.