Clarifying Expectations

In the recent post, Start Where You Stand, I stated the following:

I tend to subscribe to the notion that, when I attempt something new, it's not possible to be “ready” or “fully prepared.” It's been my experience that I'm much better off “jumping in” and getting my “feet wet.” Should I expect my initial performance to be flawless, however, I will likely disappoint myself.

At first glance, this may appear to be flat wrong. How is it that we can't be “ready” for something? After all, have we not prepared, and been “ready” for things in the past? And why shouldn't we expect the best from ourselves? Doesn't the expectation of mediocrity contribute to mediocre results?

While these objections are not necessarily incorrect, they do miss the point of what was said. When I say that it isn't possible to be ready or fully prepared; or that expecting one's performance to be flawless will likely result in disappointment, I do not mean that one can never be ready or fully prepared, or that one should never expect the best from oneself—full stop. What I mean, rather, is that one cannot be ready or fully prepared—nor should one expect a stellar performance—the very first time they attempt to do something. Of course a person can be ready or fully prepared to do something if they have done it before. It is the very fact they have done it that enables them to understand what preparations are necessary, and it is at such times when a person ought to expect the best from themselves.

The reason I maintain that a person should never expect to be “fully prepared” when they first attempt something new, is because such expectations often jeopardize their ability to begin. In other words, they end up postponing action, because they don't feel that they are yet “fully prepared.” But, how can a person actually be “fully prepared” for something if they have yet to actually do it? How can they even know what they are prepared for, if they haven't done it yet? Hence, it is not necessary to be “fully prepared” in order to begin, it is better to just “jump in.” On the other hand, if a person does act, but acts with the expectation that they are “fully prepared” or that their performance will be stellar—and especially if they are emotionally committed to that expectation—they will very often find themselves emotionally hijacked if things don't go as planned. Whereas the person who is not caught off guard by an initial lackluster performance is able to maintain composure and can therefore more effectively work to improve. (It should also be noted that an expectation of mediocrity is entirely different from a lack of expectation of perfection.)

In short, we can only truly be prepared to do something if we have done it before, and we should only expect the best when we are qualified to expect it.