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Ken Parsell is the author of The Catalyst of Confidence and Discipline. He maintained this blog from 2011 to 2014. He is now working on other projects. Visit his website at www.kennethparsell.com.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Problem With Personal Development

Largely made up of books, audio programs, classes, seminars and workshops, the world of personal development (PD) is composed of a great many things. Within it we find the healthy existence of a wide assortment of topics ranging from personal relationships and increasing productivity to teamwork and communication to leadership and various “how to” subjects and the list goes on and on. Needless to say, there's a lot going on here. But what is rarely—if ever—brought to the forefront of discussion is perhaps the most problematic aspect of PD items in general. (I use the word “items” as an all encompassing reference to any variation of personal development products or services.)

Though it permeates the entire world of PD items, the problem to which I refer is a simple one. It is not necessarily a problem with the various PD items themselves, but is rather a kind of byproduct which tends to develop as a result of the consistent use of such things. Specifically, it is the tendency to avoid or lose focus on the bettering of oneself (which is the proper end of PD items) in favor of using the information available in PD items as a standard with which to critique others. In other words, instead of my seeking to better myself through the application of a given PD item, I use the said item as the criterion to judge why the people I observe around me are so very pathetic. “If only they knew what I knew.”
Consider the following analogy. By sheer accident, Steve stumbles upon a “people skills” book. He has never read a self-help book before, but for some reason decides to give it a chance. Upon completing the book he reluctantly decides to try a suggested approach with a rather abrasive co-worker. To his amazement, his co-worker responds positively and over the next couple weeks their professional relationship improves to the point that Steve no longer considers his co-worker abrasive at all. Thinking “wow, this stuff really works!” Steve enthusiastically heads off to the nearest bookstore in search of another book, and over time, Steve becomes extremely educated and well-versed in various PD items. As a result, he grows tremendously and begins to see the fruits of his efforts in many areas of his life. But—albeit slowly and subtly—something begins to change. Steve begins losing focus of the reason he began exploring the world of PD items in the first place. He begins to lose sight of himself and begins to focus on the weaknesses and failures of other people. He begins to see nothing but the disparity between his “abundance of wisdom and perfection” and the absolute lack of such qualities in the people around him. The more PD items he consumes the more isolated he becomes in his perceived greatness. After all, he has spent years studying such things, he is well-read, well-versed, and lives on the cutting edge of personal development. What began with Steve's initial curiosity and later desire to improve himself has slowly and steadily evolved into a kind of dogmatism. A dogmatism that has resulted in Steve seeing everyone but himself as the source of all problems. Thus, Steve's education in PD items is being used as a “measuring stick” with which to evaluate and critique those around him.

Such situations are not nearly as uncommon as many would think. To be sure, they are especially common in the corporate world. Can you imagine working with people, many of whom perfectly exemplify the given description of Steve? Can you imagine the finger pointing? The stress of the internal politics? The self-righteousness? Regardless of where it occurs, such a situation is no doubt highly destructive to everyone in its proximity.

But what are we to take away from all this? Are we to conclude that, because PD items can potentially result in situations like those described above, such items ought to be avoided? On the contrary, PD items do not themselves produce such situations, but rather, such situations result from human error, misapplication and specifically self-deception—things we must always guard ourselves against.

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