We as human beings have a tendency to
look back on our past experiences and lament the fact that we could
have done something differently. “If only I had done X, how my life
would be different!” This form of reflection is beneficial as long
as we use it to learn from past mistakes in order to make better choices
in the future. But to the degree such hindsight is used to brood and
wallow over, with a kind of “what might have been?” self-pity, it
is destructive. Such behavior inhibits a person's ability to change and
plants seeds of despair in their mind. Failure is not always fatal,
but failing to change might be.
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