The Specter of Discipline

It seems few things haunt the masses of mankind more than discipline.

Popularly regarded as rather unpleasant and menacing, discipline is a concept which hangs over the heads of many like a ghost. This is, of course, due to the fact that many people tend to view discipline as something they lack rather than positively possess.

When people say something like “I have no discipline,” what they mean is they tend to not follow through with many of their decisions (there are also those who are not conscious of the fact they do such things). Ultimately, a lack of discipline is characterized by an inconsistency between one's decisions and actions. For instance, say I was going out to eat with my wife and had resolved to spend no more than $50 on the meal. But, upon seeing the top-shelf wine selection featured by the restaurant, quickly change my mind, and opt to relinquish my limit. Essentially, I have reneged on my original decision to spend no more than $50. Now, let me emphasize that this is not necessarily much of a problem—in itself—when isolated in the moment (assuming of course I have the money to spend). The problem occurs when I develop the habit of haphazardly acting other-than that which I have decided. Thus I may find myself, perhaps in the not-to-distant future, saying things like “I always spend more than I should, I'm just not disciplined.”

Most people fail to realize that both discipline and indiscipline (the lack thereof) are habits. While discipline is the habit of doing what you commit (decide) to do, indiscipline is the habit of doing other-than what you commit (decide) to do. As described in Lesson V: Action and Habit, all habits result from consistent actions. Hence, those who have developed the habit of discipline (the habit of doing what they commit to do) have done so because they have consistently done what they have committed themselves to do. Whereas those who have developed the habit of indiscipline have done so because they have consistently done other-than what they have committed themselves to do. Indiscipline is developed by not adhering to one's decisions, while discipline is developed by simply following through with them. In short, if you fall under the “not disciplined” banner you have simply developed the habit of indiscipline.

How does one overcome such a habit?

If you struggle with discipline there are many things you can do to develop it. The simple answer is changing your actions (easier said than done, I know). As mentioned above, if you are not a disciplined person it is because you have developed the habit of indiscipline, which may only be replaced by developing the habit of discipline. In other words, you must begin to consciously do what you decide to do. The following tips may be helpful:

• Develop awareness of your decisions: Every day we make hundreds (perhaps thousands) of decisions. Some are small, like brushing your teeth. Others are larger, like going to the gym. Begin to pay attention to your decision making process. Many people literally make most of their decisions unconsciously, that is, with no conscious thought. Your goal is to begin consciously making your decisions and to develop an in-the-moment awareness of when you make them.

• Start with small things: Remember, your ultimate goal is to develop the habit of doing what you decide to do. You may want to lose 100 pounds, but if you've developed the habit of indiscipline, your goal should first be to develop discipline. The best way to do this is to start with small things. Consciously decide to get dressed in the morning. Decide to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. Decide to go to the bathroom. Decide to take out the trash. This alone will affect you tremendously. Not only will you begin to develop the habit of doing the things you have decided (regardless how small), you will also gain an increased awareness of your decision making process, and will begin to feel more comfortable deciding to do bigger and bigger things. This leads us to our next tip:

• Only decide to do something if you are absolutely sure you will do it: Do not commit yourself to doing anything if you are unsure about your following through with it. As you begin to consciously decide to act on bigger and bigger decisions, you may find yourself uncertain as to whether or not you will follow through. It is better to decide not to do something, than to not do something you have decided.

The key to developing discipline is being consistent in our decisions and actions. Only then may we truly develop the habit of discipline. When we have developed the awareness of our decisions we can begin deciding about the small things in life. The small choices we make and act upon invariably lead to larger and larger ones, until over time, we have developed the habit of doing what we decide to do in all areas of our life.