The Deception of Positive Thinking, Part V

This is the fifth and final post in the series titled “The Deception of Positive Thinking.” If you have not read the first, second, third, or fourth posts, I encourage you to do so before continuing. In the fourth post we discussed a correct way to cognitively respond to negative or undesirable circumstances. All that remains is to emphasize the importance of taking action.

There is a fable which tells of two birds sitting on a fence post, when before long, one bird decides to fly away. The question is then asked, how many birds remain sitting on the fence post? The answer: two. This simple story illustrates a distinction that can be made between decision and action: It is one thing to decide to do something, it is another to actually do it. Action is the ultimate defining factor in creating positive results. Decisions without action are dead. The woman from our story may conclude that, in order to solve the problem, either the relationship must change or she should leave. It will not help that she has become aware of her situation, or even dug deep to find a probable solution to remedy it, if she, in the end, does not act. If she fails to act on her convictions, nothing will happen, the situation will continue and she will remain unhappy. Positive results can only be created through action. Without action, without movement—nothing moves—and therefore nothing changes.

It must also be stated that with all forms of action come potential failures. We may not solve our problems completely in our first attempt. It may take time, it may take persistence. There are learning curves that correspond to all forms of action, especially when we first begin something. Failure is only failure if accepted as such. The reality is that all problems and difficulties can be solved in one way or another. With action, persistence, and the willingness to learn, anything is possible.

In review:

An analysis of “The Deception of Positive Thinking” can be found here and here.

The steps needed to guard against or overcome “The Deception of Positive Thinking” may be summarized as follows:

Step 1: Awareness (see the third post).

Become aware of your circumstances.

Step 2: Response (see the fourth post).

Respond to undesirable circumstances by asking questions and looking for answers.

Step 3: Action (stated above).

Support the answers to your questions with sufficient action.

Happiness and Gratitude

Bill Vallicella, who runs the blog Maverick Philosopher, recently posted the following on gratitude:

Every day find something to be grateful for.

It might be the regularity of nature. Without it, how would you make coffee? And then there is coffee itself and its wonderful taste. What a marvelous, yet harmless, drug! And then there are the thoughts that percolate up under its agency. There are so many of them swarming and demanding attention. Some are even worth writing down. Your notebooks lay ready: they weren't destroyed during the night. And the pens too. Your fingers are supple and free of arthritis. And there is your library of books, thousands of them, to supply you with thought- and blog-fodder . . . .

But if you want to be miserable you should be able to find something to kvetch about.

Now, I happen to relate a great deal to the fact that Bill is grateful for things like coffee and its effects, notebooks and pens, books and thoughts. (In fact I doubt I could have said it better myself.) You might not relate to such things at all. But finding something to be grateful for isn't too hard if you stop and think about it. It seems to me that the most grateful people (those who have developed the habit of regularly reflecting on the things they're thankful for) also tend to be the happiest, the most flexible, and the least likely to hazard an emotional "sawed-off-shotgun" in their social dealings. Don't wait for Thanksgiving to think about the things you're thankful for. Do so on a daily basis.

The Deception of Positive Thinking, Part IV

This is the fourth post in the series titled “The Deception of Positive Thinking.” If you have not read the first, second, or third posts, I encourage you to do so before continuing. In the previous post we discussed how we can increase our overall self-awareness, so as to begin working to minimize self-deception. At present, we will concern ourselves with the next step. Namely, how to mentally respond to our increased self-awareness.

The protagonist of our story responds to her reality by shifting focus from her dilemma onto the noble ideal of positive thinking. There is nothing wrong with finding the positive aspects of a given circumstance per se. However, problems may arise when a person is solely focused on seeking the positive aspects of a situation, because they will tend to ignore their ability to better the situation itself. As we have seen, the purpose of positive thinking is to create positive results. This means responding to adversity in ways that create positive outcomes. But responding by solely focusing on the positive aspect of an otherwise horrible situation does nothing but prolong the existence and magnitude of the situation itself. It is with this in mind that we must learn how to properly respond to our awareness of our undesirable situations.

After becoming more aware of our words, whether internal or spoken, we may begin to see evidence of undesirable situations in our lives. At this point, many people turn away from what they see and focus on a “positive aspect” of their situation—they respond to their reality by habitually focusing on something else. As stated above, this type of response only serves to provide a temporary relief at the expense of allowing the problem to continue indefinitely. It is also at this point (when we become aware of an undesirable situation), that we are given the opportunity to respond properly—but how? By asking questions. When you ask questions, your mind will begin working to supply you with answers. It may only take a few minutes or it may take a few weeks, but nonetheless, your mind will provide you with probable solutions.

Return to the words that clued you in on a specific situation. Suppose the woman from our story became aware of herself saying: “I hate my life” or “I'm so unhappy.” What type of question should she ask that will help start her on the path to solving her problem? She should begin by asking herself: “Why?” “Why do I hate my life?” “Why am I so unhappy?” We know her relationship is a large part of her unhappiness. If she is honest with herself, she will eventually conclude, in one way or another, that she hates her life or is unhappy because she doesn't like the way she is being treated. It is at this point she might continue by asking: “What type of situation would I like to exist in place of the one that I hate?” The woman must conclude that she would either prefer to no longer be in a relationship or be in relationship with a man who treats her with respect and dignity. A final question must be asked as well: “What can I do about it?” “How can I solve this problem?” “Is there anything I can do to create the situation I want?” In posing these questions to ourselves, we must always employ the word “I," thereby focusing on what we can do, as opposed to what someone else can or should do. What can we do to create a suitable situation? We don't have control over other people—only ourselves—and if we attempt to solve a problem by trying to change another person, we're destined to fail. In response to the words you hear yourself say or think, ask yourself:

1. Why? Why do I think or feel this way? (Identify what exists.)
2. What situation would I like to exist in place of this one? (Identify what could exist.)
3. What can I do about it? How can I solve this problem? (Identify how you can create the situation you want. Note: There is always something you can do to better a situation.)

In the previous post it was suggested to pay close attention to and consider what other people say about you. How therefore should you respond to the observations made by other people? Again, by asking similar questions:

1. Is it possible that this observation is true? (Identify what exists.)
2. If it is true, what situation would I like to exist in place of this one? (Identify what could exist.)
3. If it is true, what can I do about it? How can I correct it? (Identify how you can create the situation you want.)

News and Updates

I want to apologize for my recent lapse in activity. My wife and I have been in the process of moving, and are just now beginning to get settled in at our new place. I've only moved three times in my life but I always seem to forget what a pain it is to move. The unforeseen problems, extra expenses, unpacking, not to mention the tasks of packing and actually moving from A to B. Thankfully the hard parts are behind us and I will once again resume posting in the near future. To my surprise, the site actually hasn't suffered a loss in traffic as plenty of older posts are still being read.

Now for some updates.

CurrClick has the digital-only version of Life n' Leadership on sale through August 24^th for only $4.99! The physical program has been discounted as well for $29.95! Free shipping is also available through Amazon.com. More news coming soon!